Domestic Flight makes Strasbourg
Once again the short Film ‘Domestic Flight’ written by Tilly Vosburgh, Directed by Julie Edwards and Produced by Pauline Gates makes another prestigious film festival. This time it’s the Strasbourg international Film Festival. This runs from August 28 to September 6 in Strasbourg, France and Kehl, Germany. Well done to everyone involved.
Details here
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Hi there, what’s up you guys???
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
You’ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
Honolulu, it’s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife’s mother.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man’s nose begins.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
After every ‘victory’ you have more enemies.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy — the mother.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
I’m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where she is!
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where she is!
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where she is!
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
Anyone who starts a sentence, ‘With all due respect …’ is about to insult you.
Never test for an error condition you don’t know how to handle.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
If quantum physics doesn’t confuse you then you don’t understand it.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
I’m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, ‘Why god? Why me?’ and the thundering voice of God answered, ’There’s just something about you that pisses me off.’
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
If you can read this you’re not aiming in the right direction.
Heav’n hath no rage like love to hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn’d.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they’re yours.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You’d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty.
We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It’s not a truck. It’s a series of tubes!
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it — and some of your spouse’s family too.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
Never test for an error condition you don’t know how to handle.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
The truth is more important than the facts.
Throughout American history, the government has said we’re in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It’s a hoax.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.
We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it’s more likely to be female.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
It was the experience of mystery — even if mixed with fear — that engendered religion.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
There is only one nature – the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn’t take it out of my garden.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one’s doubts.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn’t.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said ‘no’.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, ’Don’t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?’ I said ‘I didn’t know there were any witnesses. Now I’ll have to kill you too’.
O’Toole’s Corollary of Finagle’s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
I’m Jewish. I don’t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.
Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
I’m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let’s start with typewriters.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax — tomorrow you’ll be afraid to cough.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
Louis Pasteur’s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can’t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can’t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
I’m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can’t understand is, if they don’t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
A man can’t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
Jesus may love you, but I think you’re garbage wrapped in skin.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
Hearing nuns’ confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book – I’ll waste no time reading it.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book – I’ll waste no time reading it.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I’ve only ever had one.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, ‘Why god? Why me?’ and the thundering voice of God answered, ’There’s just something about you that pisses me off.’
It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
If quantum physics doesn’t confuse you then you don’t understand it.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can’t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can’t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can’t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
I’m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
Research is what I’m doing when I don’t know what I’m doing.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
The truth is more important than the facts.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.
The difference between ‘involvement’ and ‘commitment’ is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was ‘involved’ – the pig was ‘committed’.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don’t have it.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
I’m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
I’m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
I’m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can’t remember what they are.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
In this war as in others I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
War doesn’t make boys men, it makes men dead.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
Sterling’s Corollary to Clarke’s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Maybe this world is another planet’s Hell.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, ‘Why god? Why me?’ and the thundering voice of God answered, ’There’s just something about you that pisses me off.’
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure — that is all that agnosticism means.
You’re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don’t have it.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
A man can’t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don’t need.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don’t need.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn’t over until everyone gets their cookies.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Why did God create dentists? — In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse!
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, ‘Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
It’s impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune.
It’s impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you’re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse!
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Louis Pasteur’s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
If you’re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
After every ‘victory’ you have more enemies.
O’Toole’s Corollary of Finagle’s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.
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A good sermon should be like a woman’s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney…
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
When you’ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
I Can’t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don’t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood… War is hell.
If all the world’s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
If all the world’s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it’s the exact opposite.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
I don’t pray because I don’t want to bore God.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren’t, then I’d be a teacher.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
It was the experience of mystery — even if mixed with fear — that engendered religion.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Heav’n hath no rage like love to hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn’d.
You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty.
You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty.
You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It’s pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
It’s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that’s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Military glory — that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood — that serpent’s eye, that charms to destroy…
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
Love is the answer – but while you’re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
One doesn’t have a sense of humor. It has you.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn’t.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man’s nose begins.
O’Toole’s Corollary of Finagle’s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
In the begining there was nothing and God said ‘Let there be light’, and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other’s children.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren’t, then I’d be a teacher.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren’t, then I’d be a teacher.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions – it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said ’You’ve been promoted’. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said ’You’ve been promoted again’. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said ’You’re managing director.’ And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said ‘What happened to you?’ And I Said ‘I careered off the road.’
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
A physicist is an atom’s way of knowing about atoms.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we’d have a much easier time raising money.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
The chain reaction of evil — wars producing more wars — must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Oh for pity’s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
Oh for pity’s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
I don’t approve of political jokes… I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a ‘C’, the idea must be feasible.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
If it wasn’t for C, we’d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It’s not a truck. It’s a series of tubes!
We don’t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
I wouldn’t mind dying – it’s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
If you’re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee — that will do them in.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn’t over until everyone gets their cookies.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
I’m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
It’s strange, isn’t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go ‘aaaaagghhhh’ and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
britt-4D4E77A4@fireden.netdamion-4D4E77A4@fireden.netDon’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
alexisC19022C1@fireden.net quinnC19022C1@fireden.net Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can’t, you are usually right.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft… and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Barabási’s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
Why did God create dentists? — In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Throughout American history, the government has said we’re in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It’s a hoax.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
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Domestic Flight makes Strasbourg
Once again the short Film âDomestic Flightâ written by Tilly Vosburgh, Directed by Julie Edwards and Produced by Pauline Gates makes another prestigious film festival. This time it’s the Strasbourg international Film Festival. This runs from August 28 to September 6 in Strasbourg, France and Kehl, Germany. Well done to everyone involved.
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The right to swing my fist ends where the other man’s nose begins.
15:08 on 25.10.10
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
16:35 on 25.10.10
We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
22:31 on 25.10.10
After every ‘victory’ you have more enemies.
22:32 on 25.10.10
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
23:15 on 25.10.10
We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
00:27 on 26.10.10
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy — the mother.
02:39 on 26.10.10
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
19:16 on 26.10.10
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
00:39 on 27.10.10
I’m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
00:54 on 27.10.10
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
05:04 on 27.10.10
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where she is!
05:39 on 27.10.10
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where she is!
05:40 on 27.10.10
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where she is!
05:40 on 27.10.10
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
05:58 on 27.10.10
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
07:11 on 27.10.10
Men have become the tools of their tools.
07:15 on 27.10.10
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
07:43 on 27.10.10
I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
07:56 on 27.10.10
Anyone who starts a sentence, ‘With all due respect …’ is about to insult you.
08:02 on 27.10.10
Never test for an error condition you don’t know how to handle.
08:10 on 27.10.10
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
08:44 on 27.10.10
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
08:48 on 27.10.10
If quantum physics doesn’t confuse you then you don’t understand it.
09:49 on 27.10.10
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
10:11 on 27.10.10
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
10:13 on 27.10.10
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
11:14 on 27.10.10
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
11:49 on 27.10.10
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
11:56 on 27.10.10
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
12:47 on 27.10.10
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
13:13 on 27.10.10
I’m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
15:29 on 27.10.10
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
15:35 on 27.10.10
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
02:33 on 28.10.10
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
20:01 on 28.10.10
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
23:43 on 28.10.10
We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
10:14 on 29.10.10
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, ‘Why god? Why me?’ and the thundering voice of God answered, ’There’s just something about you that pisses me off.’
13:23 on 29.10.10
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
06:56 on 30.10.10
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
07:01 on 30.10.10
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
07:01 on 30.10.10
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
07:20 on 30.10.10
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.
08:05 on 30.10.10
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
08:20 on 30.10.10
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
08:38 on 30.10.10
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
09:52 on 30.10.10
If you can read this you’re not aiming in the right direction.
10:12 on 30.10.10
Heav’n hath no rage like love to hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn’d.
10:18 on 30.10.10
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they’re yours.
10:48 on 30.10.10
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
10:51 on 30.10.10
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
11:25 on 30.10.10
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You’d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
12:14 on 30.10.10
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
12:20 on 30.10.10
You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty.
12:51 on 30.10.10
We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
12:57 on 30.10.10
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It’s not a truck. It’s a series of tubes!
14:02 on 30.10.10
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
14:52 on 30.10.10
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it — and some of your spouse’s family too.
15:18 on 30.10.10
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
17:03 on 31.10.10
Never test for an error condition you don’t know how to handle.
07:33 on 01.11.10
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
11:52 on 01.11.10
The truth is more important than the facts.
18:36 on 01.11.10
Throughout American history, the government has said we’re in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It’s a hoax.
07:18 on 02.11.10
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.
01:35 on 03.11.10
We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
03:53 on 03.11.10
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
05:05 on 03.11.10
If a man does his best, what else is there?
05:51 on 03.11.10
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it’s more likely to be female.
06:00 on 03.11.10
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
06:52 on 03.11.10
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
07:26 on 03.11.10
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
07:31 on 03.11.10
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
07:31 on 03.11.10
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
07:32 on 03.11.10
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
07:52 on 03.11.10
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
08:36 on 03.11.10
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
08:56 on 03.11.10
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
08:57 on 03.11.10
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
09:02 on 03.11.10
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
09:55 on 03.11.10
It was the experience of mystery — even if mixed with fear — that engendered religion.
10:10 on 03.11.10
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
10:20 on 03.11.10
I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
10:57 on 03.11.10
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
11:05 on 03.11.10
It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
11:49 on 03.11.10
I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
11:50 on 03.11.10
There is only one nature – the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
12:29 on 03.11.10
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
13:05 on 03.11.10
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
14:35 on 03.11.10
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
14:39 on 03.11.10
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn’t take it out of my garden.
14:59 on 03.11.10
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
15:01 on 03.11.10
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
15:16 on 03.11.10
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one’s doubts.
16:16 on 03.11.10
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
16:30 on 03.11.10
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
16:33 on 03.11.10
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
16:56 on 03.11.10
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
19:56 on 03.11.10
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
19:57 on 03.11.10
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn’t.
00:11 on 04.11.10
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
01:34 on 04.11.10
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
05:18 on 04.11.10
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
05:43 on 04.11.10
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said ‘no’.
06:06 on 04.11.10
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, ’Don’t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?’ I said ‘I didn’t know there were any witnesses. Now I’ll have to kill you too’.
06:29 on 04.11.10
O’Toole’s Corollary of Finagle’s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
07:23 on 04.11.10
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
08:43 on 04.11.10
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
08:55 on 04.11.10
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
09:45 on 04.11.10
I’m Jewish. I don’t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
10:27 on 04.11.10
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.
11:13 on 04.11.10
Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.
11:26 on 04.11.10
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
11:32 on 04.11.10
I’m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let’s start with typewriters.
13:40 on 04.11.10
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax — tomorrow you’ll be afraid to cough.
05:39 on 05.11.10
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
05:47 on 05.11.10
Louis Pasteur’s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
06:39 on 05.11.10
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
06:48 on 05.11.10
We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
07:46 on 05.11.10
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can’t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
08:40 on 05.11.10
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can’t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
08:40 on 05.11.10
I’m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can’t understand is, if they don’t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
09:49 on 05.11.10
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
10:24 on 05.11.10
If you are going through hell, keep going.
10:32 on 05.11.10
A man can’t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
10:43 on 05.11.10
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
11:41 on 05.11.10
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
11:55 on 05.11.10
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
12:10 on 05.11.10
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
13:01 on 05.11.10
Jesus may love you, but I think you’re garbage wrapped in skin.
13:19 on 05.11.10
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
13:46 on 05.11.10
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
14:50 on 05.11.10
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
14:50 on 05.11.10
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
14:50 on 05.11.10
You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty.
14:56 on 05.11.10
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
15:15 on 05.11.10
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
15:50 on 05.11.10
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
16:16 on 05.11.10
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
16:24 on 05.11.10
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
16:25 on 05.11.10
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
16:52 on 05.11.10
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
16:52 on 05.11.10
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
12:59 on 06.11.10
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
12:59 on 06.11.10
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
23:05 on 06.11.10
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
05:47 on 07.11.10
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
07:13 on 07.11.10
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
09:03 on 07.11.10
Hearing nuns’ confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
11:01 on 07.11.10
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book – I’ll waste no time reading it.
12:45 on 07.11.10
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book – I’ll waste no time reading it.
12:45 on 07.11.10
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
15:10 on 07.11.10
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
15:38 on 07.11.10
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
16:24 on 07.11.10
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
17:01 on 07.11.10
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
23:59 on 07.11.10
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I’ve only ever had one.
07:42 on 08.11.10
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?
09:07 on 08.11.10
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
10:30 on 08.11.10
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
11:39 on 08.11.10
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, ‘Why god? Why me?’ and the thundering voice of God answered, ’There’s just something about you that pisses me off.’
11:46 on 08.11.10
It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
12:06 on 08.11.10
If quantum physics doesn’t confuse you then you don’t understand it.
12:19 on 08.11.10
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
15:55 on 08.11.10
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
16:24 on 08.11.10
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can’t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
22:23 on 09.11.10
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can’t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
22:23 on 09.11.10
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can’t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
22:23 on 09.11.10
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
04:11 on 10.11.10
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
05:47 on 10.11.10
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
07:09 on 10.11.10
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
07:50 on 10.11.10
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
11:28 on 10.11.10
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
21:12 on 10.11.10
I’m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
21:12 on 10.11.10
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
18:11 on 12.11.10
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
23:48 on 12.11.10
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.
02:26 on 13.11.10
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.
02:26 on 13.11.10
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.
02:27 on 13.11.10
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.
02:27 on 13.11.10
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
03:31 on 13.11.10
Research is what I’m doing when I don’t know what I’m doing.
06:45 on 13.11.10
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
07:29 on 13.11.10
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
07:29 on 13.11.10
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
07:31 on 13.11.10
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
07:57 on 13.11.10
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
08:58 on 13.11.10
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
09:12 on 13.11.10
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
10:19 on 13.11.10
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
10:56 on 13.11.10
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
11:28 on 13.11.10
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
13:48 on 13.11.10
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
16:08 on 13.11.10
The truth is more important than the facts.
16:11 on 13.11.10
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
16:57 on 13.11.10
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
17:06 on 13.11.10
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
17:18 on 13.11.10
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
01:01 on 14.11.10
If a man does his best, what else is there?
03:35 on 14.11.10
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.
16:16 on 14.11.10
The difference between ‘involvement’ and ‘commitment’ is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was ‘involved’ – the pig was ‘committed’.
15:20 on 15.11.10
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don’t have it.
17:03 on 15.11.10
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
07:33 on 16.11.10
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
08:07 on 16.11.10
I’m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
07:40 on 17.11.10
I’m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
07:40 on 17.11.10
I’m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
07:40 on 17.11.10
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can’t remember what they are.
14:19 on 17.11.10
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
19:42 on 17.11.10
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
07:35 on 18.11.10
In this war  as in others  I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
08:43 on 20.11.10
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
08:54 on 20.11.10
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
15:58 on 20.11.10
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
19:00 on 20.11.10
War doesn’t make boys men, it makes men dead.
17:44 on 21.11.10
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
00:57 on 22.11.10
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
00:57 on 22.11.10
Sterling’s Corollary to Clarke’s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
04:41 on 22.11.10
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
07:42 on 22.11.10
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
07:43 on 22.11.10
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
07:44 on 22.11.10
It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
08:50 on 22.11.10
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
09:38 on 22.11.10
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
10:28 on 22.11.10
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
11:58 on 22.11.10
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
12:06 on 22.11.10
Maybe this world is another planet’s Hell.
13:27 on 22.11.10
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, ‘Why god? Why me?’ and the thundering voice of God answered, ’There’s just something about you that pisses me off.’
14:27 on 22.11.10
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’.
16:39 on 22.11.10
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
16:42 on 22.11.10
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
16:55 on 22.11.10
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
17:42 on 22.11.10
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
19:12 on 22.11.10
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
23:09 on 22.11.10
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
02:10 on 23.11.10
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
02:15 on 23.11.10
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
02:15 on 23.11.10
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
02:16 on 23.11.10
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure — that is all that agnosticism means.
06:35 on 23.11.10
You’re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
07:26 on 23.11.10
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
07:53 on 23.11.10
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
07:53 on 23.11.10
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don’t have it.
17:57 on 23.11.10
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
19:16 on 23.11.10
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
19:28 on 24.11.10
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
19:28 on 24.11.10
A man can’t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
01:11 on 25.11.10
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
05:11 on 25.11.10
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
07:59 on 25.11.10
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
21:06 on 26.11.10
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
14:11 on 27.11.10
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
19:47 on 27.11.10
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
20:58 on 27.11.10
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don’t need.
18:25 on 28.11.10
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don’t need.
18:25 on 28.11.10
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
03:06 on 29.11.10
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
03:06 on 29.11.10
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
03:06 on 29.11.10
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
03:07 on 29.11.10
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
05:03 on 29.11.10
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
13:33 on 29.11.10
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn’t over until everyone gets their cookies.
05:17 on 30.11.10
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
17:56 on 30.11.10
Why did God create dentists? — In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
06:27 on 03.12.10
Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse!
08:16 on 03.12.10
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, ‘Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?
08:25 on 03.12.10
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
10:38 on 03.12.10
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
11:59 on 03.12.10
It’s impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune.
12:08 on 03.12.10
It’s impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune.
12:08 on 03.12.10
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you’re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
14:46 on 03.12.10
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
16:34 on 03.12.10
Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse!
17:32 on 03.12.10
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
17:38 on 03.12.10
Louis Pasteur’s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
19:12 on 03.12.10
If you’re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
03:15 on 04.12.10
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
07:55 on 04.12.10
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
23:09 on 04.12.10
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
15:38 on 05.12.10
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
18:36 on 05.12.10
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
21:12 on 05.12.10
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
23:42 on 05.12.10
After every ‘victory’ you have more enemies.
11:18 on 06.12.10
O’Toole’s Corollary of Finagle’s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
12:55 on 06.12.10
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
23:39 on 06.12.10
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
02:38 on 07.12.10
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
04:29 on 07.12.10
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
09:13 on 07.12.10
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.
12:44 on 07.12.10
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04:00 on 08.01.11
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10:07 on 23.01.11
A good sermon should be like a woman’s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
06:28 on 25.01.11
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney…
06:35 on 25.01.11
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
06:53 on 25.01.11
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
06:54 on 25.01.11
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
07:41 on 25.01.11
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
08:27 on 25.01.11
When you’ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
08:47 on 25.01.11
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
09:47 on 25.01.11
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
10:09 on 25.01.11
I Can’t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don’t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
15:05 on 25.01.11
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood… War is hell.
15:36 on 25.01.11
If all the world’s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
17:16 on 25.01.11
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
18:54 on 25.01.11
If all the world’s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
01:16 on 26.01.11
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
11:44 on 26.01.11
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
11:44 on 26.01.11
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
12:53 on 26.01.11
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it’s the exact opposite.
13:15 on 26.01.11
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
16:24 on 26.01.11
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
17:54 on 26.01.11
I don’t pray because I don’t want to bore God.
23:22 on 26.01.11
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
03:10 on 27.01.11
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren’t, then I’d be a teacher.
03:53 on 27.01.11
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
06:11 on 27.01.11
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
06:30 on 27.01.11
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
06:31 on 27.01.11
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
07:02 on 27.01.11
It was the experience of mystery — even if mixed with fear — that engendered religion.
07:30 on 27.01.11
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
07:34 on 27.01.11
Heav’n hath no rage like love to hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn’d.
08:27 on 27.01.11
You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty.
09:13 on 27.01.11
You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty.
09:13 on 27.01.11
You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty.
09:53 on 27.01.11
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
10:27 on 27.01.11
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
10:27 on 27.01.11
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It’s pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
10:43 on 27.01.11
It’s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that’s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
10:46 on 27.01.11
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
11:19 on 27.01.11
Military glory — that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood — that serpent’s eye, that charms to destroy…
11:23 on 27.01.11
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
11:29 on 27.01.11
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
11:50 on 27.01.11
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
12:21 on 27.01.11
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
12:21 on 27.01.11
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
12:22 on 27.01.11
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
12:23 on 27.01.11
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
13:11 on 27.01.11
Love is the answer – but while you’re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
13:52 on 27.01.11
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
14:14 on 27.01.11
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
14:14 on 27.01.11
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
14:28 on 27.01.11
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
14:28 on 27.01.11
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
15:18 on 27.01.11
One doesn’t have a sense of humor. It has you.
16:04 on 27.01.11
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
17:01 on 27.01.11
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
17:56 on 27.01.11
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn’t.
06:06 on 28.01.11
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man’s nose begins.
10:06 on 28.01.11
O’Toole’s Corollary of Finagle’s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
10:40 on 28.01.11
In the begining there was nothing and God said ‘Let there be light’, and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
20:19 on 28.01.11
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
04:41 on 29.01.11
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
06:33 on 29.01.11
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other’s children.
07:11 on 29.01.11
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
08:10 on 29.01.11
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren’t, then I’d be a teacher.
08:41 on 29.01.11
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren’t, then I’d be a teacher.
08:41 on 29.01.11
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
10:39 on 29.01.11
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions – it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
10:48 on 29.01.11
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
10:57 on 29.01.11
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said ’You’ve been promoted’. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said ’You’ve been promoted again’. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said ’You’re managing director.’ And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said ‘What happened to you?’ And I Said ‘I careered off the road.’
13:03 on 29.01.11
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
14:02 on 29.01.11
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
14:38 on 29.01.11
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
15:15 on 29.01.11
A physicist is an atom’s way of knowing about atoms.
15:46 on 29.01.11
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we’d have a much easier time raising money.
15:49 on 29.01.11
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
15:55 on 29.01.11
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
17:32 on 29.01.11
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
17:32 on 29.01.11
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
00:19 on 30.01.11
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
07:11 on 30.01.11
The chain reaction of evil — wars producing more wars — must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
08:57 on 30.01.11
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
09:51 on 30.01.11
Oh for pity’s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
10:48 on 30.01.11
Oh for pity’s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
10:48 on 30.01.11
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
17:21 on 30.01.11
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
17:21 on 30.01.11
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
21:21 on 30.01.11
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
23:16 on 30.01.11
It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
23:20 on 30.01.11
It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
23:21 on 30.01.11
It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
23:21 on 30.01.11
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
00:45 on 31.01.11
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
05:36 on 31.01.11
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
03:59 on 01.02.11
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
04:05 on 01.02.11
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
06:54 on 01.02.11
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
06:54 on 01.02.11
I don’t approve of political jokes… I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
08:10 on 01.02.11
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
08:18 on 01.02.11
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
09:22 on 01.02.11
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
09:32 on 01.02.11
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
09:52 on 01.02.11
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
18:19 on 01.02.11
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
18:19 on 01.02.11
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a ‘C’, the idea must be feasible.
20:05 on 01.02.11
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
21:26 on 01.02.11
If it wasn’t for C, we’d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
00:10 on 02.02.11
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
06:08 on 02.02.11
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It’s not a truck. It’s a series of tubes!
09:06 on 02.02.11
We don’t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
11:37 on 02.02.11
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
18:30 on 02.02.11
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
03:57 on 03.02.11
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
10:23 on 03.02.11
I wouldn’t mind dying – it’s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
12:56 on 03.02.11
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
19:01 on 03.02.11
If you’re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
11:08 on 04.02.11
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
12:43 on 04.02.11
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
14:55 on 04.02.11
Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
17:04 on 04.02.11
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee — that will do them in.
17:06 on 04.02.11
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn’t over until everyone gets their cookies.
23:27 on 04.02.11
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
03:03 on 05.02.11
I’m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
17:33 on 05.02.11
It’s strange, isn’t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go ‘aaaaagghhhh’ and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
21:55 on 05.02.11
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
23:38 on 05.02.11
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
00:59 on 06.02.11
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
05:13 on 06.02.11
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
05:37 on 06.02.11
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
06:30 on 06.02.11
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
06:35 on 06.02.11
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
06:41 on 06.02.11
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
09:35 on 06.02.11
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
09:35 on 06.02.11
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
09:35 on 06.02.11
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
09:36 on 06.02.11
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
10:06 on 06.02.11
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
10:24 on 06.02.11
britt-4D4E77A4@fireden.netdamion-4D4E77A4@fireden.netDon’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
10:27 on 06.02.11
alexisC19022C1@fireden.net quinnC19022C1@fireden.net Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
10:28 on 06.02.11
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
10:40 on 06.02.11
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
16:25 on 06.02.11
Whether you think that you can, or that you can’t, you are usually right.
17:14 on 06.02.11
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
19:06 on 06.02.11
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
21:29 on 06.02.11
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
21:42 on 06.02.11
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
22:46 on 06.02.11
I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
00:45 on 07.02.11
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft… and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
04:44 on 07.02.11
Barabási’s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do  whether it is correct or not.
05:40 on 07.02.11
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
07:22 on 07.02.11
Why did God create dentists? — In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
07:22 on 07.02.11
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
07:45 on 07.02.11
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
08:41 on 07.02.11
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
10:16 on 07.02.11
Throughout American history, the government has said we’re in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It’s a hoax.
10:33 on 07.02.11
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
11:52 on 07.02.11
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15:37 on 23.02.11
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